Monday, November 5, 2012

It's Almost Over, Kids


Frequent visitors to this spot have doubtlessly been awaiting with nearly breathless anticipation a lengthy rationale why someone is or is not tempermentally suited for the office, or my suggestion on some obscure state ballot question. I'll pass. On a less-positive note, I would suppose that anyone who remains undecided, after a billion dollars of advertising and untold stories about everything from Rafalca to whether he said that or not, should perhaps be ineligible to vote.

I gave up in-person voting about 20 years ago. My reasons for this action had nothing to do with Acorn (remember them?) or any other such group. Instead, I was always angered when, approaching the polling station, I was besieged by people attempting to hand me a leaflet promoting one candidate or cause over another. My reaction was always the same: I would get into an argument with the offender, accusing her or him of having so little regard for the intelligence of their fellow citizens that the mere presence of a leaflet in hand would sway my vote at this moment of truth. It was such an unfair fight.

Over this span of time, I have not missed voting in an election, as I have used the absentee method. I sent mine in three weeks ago. I have since taken the time to note some of the foibles of this election season. Some favorites:

There are billboards plastered all over Atlanta, informing the local populace that voting enables the citizen to enter a contest to win a free gun. I'm not certain what cause that organization is promoting, but I am disturbed that ballots and bullets be so intertwined.

Bumper stickers are a perennial favorite soapbox. A couple of the winners I have seen of late:

On a car that could charitably be described as a heap: "This time, elect an American". I don't know if this person was from another country or not. When last I checked, Hawaii is a state in this Union of ours, which, according to the Constitution, makes our current President eligible for the job.

On a pickup truck with Texas plates: "Secede". I do not believe they have thought that one all the way to its logical fruition. Plus, wasn't that sentiment outlawed about 150 years ago?

My personal favorite, though, is one for the ages. A vintage Mercedes, with a like-new sticker, stating: "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for McGovern." I immediately started to hum a tune from Rocky Horror.

As for all the blathering that will emanate from our televisions over the next 36 hours, I'll pass on that, too. I prefer to wait to hear how the two most literate pundits on the airwaves weigh in on the subject Wednesday night at 11 on Comedy Central.

For those of you who have not yet voted, please do so tomorrow. This right is also our privilege.

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